Scene 17

Somehow I knew I was gonna have that dream. When I wake up this morning the sun was hiding and the chilly cover bites at my body. I saw a sense of sadness in every corner of the room showing its teeth at me. I wasn't hungry but I ate as common senses direct me. And I spent thirteen minutes pondering what music to play for my brunch. I don't want anything dark to add to this feeling of solitaire but any cheerful song would sound stupid and bland.

I ended up with Linda Ronstadt's "For Sentimental Reasons". A clear and powerful voice interpreting My Funny Valentine and I Get Along Without You Very Well. And I saw the shoes I was missing in my dream. Always the contrary in reality, thought I, you win some you lose some. My shadow and I, circling the kitchen passing on food and trash, chopsticks and dishes, stand aside finding no trace of dirt. And I looked outside the patio, at the piece of gray, contained sky.

The clouds are too heavy. The rain too shy, for May is not a good month for coming by. I would have bitten my pinky if not for people roaming down the streets, I would have cried. You can paint, you can wander, you can swallow miseries like oats and you can write. But I'll simply hide.

And so I did hide into my office wearing my headphones and stressing to keep estranged from the outside crowds. If you see me you'll notice the weirdness, if you hear me you will possibly cry too.